Ebola

For fear of starting a facebook fight, I have to rant here.  I hope you'll forgive me.  As a resident of DFW, I find it difficult to keep quiet.  I have a flight out of DFW in the near future.  If anyone has reason to panic I do.

But I'm not.  Not really.

The Ebola panic is both outrageous and hilarious.  I found an excellent speech Shepard Smith posted yesterday.

It's about damn time someone in the media spoke up the way Mr. Smith did.  For those who haven't seen it, please watch:

Okay, now that we're on the same page, I'll continue.  Mr. Smith makes some excellent points.  Ebola is a serious disease.  The CDC had some big missteps with the first US cases.  But it is absolutely not time to panic.  It is not time to flee.  It is not time to burn everything down.

Here's a good infographic about ebola:

Both of the women who caught Ebola on US soil were health care workers.  That's good and bad news.  Bad, because clearly whatever protocols were in place failed.  Good, because we can fix that.  Also good, because that means Ebola hasn't broken containment to the general public.

So, for now, everybody just relax.

I read a facebook post from a colleague, which is what has prompted this post.

No one is taking the US Ebola cases lightly.  No one is scoffing at the seriousness of this disease.

Have mistakes been made?  Yes.

Are they easy to fix?  Yes.

Is this a disaster?  Not in the US.  We have the technology and know-how to deal with this disease.

It's a disease we've known about for a long time and we've known how to deal with it.  Unfortunately, the people in Africa aren't nearly as lucky.  They are the ones we need to worry about.  They are the ones in serious need of help.

Here in in the United States, this doesn't even come close to a crisis.

So take a minute, get the facts, and breathe.  To the idiots who think we're all doomed, please shut up.  You aren't making this any easier and you are in fact taking away from the real crisis in Africa.

This is not a time to panic.

Wash your hands and keep calm.  Panic will solve nothing.

Take care!

Home Stretch

I've finally hit the home stretch!  All my friends have gotten their bar results and mine come in less than a month.

I've been doing a lot of thinking.

I'm one of those people who has never taken compliments well.  There a number of possible psychological reasons for it.  I've never given it much thought before now.  People have called me out for it.  I just try to say thank you and move on.

But as bar results loom ever closing, the issue creeps into my mind.  Not because I'm pondering my own vanity, but because the thing I need to hear most of all right now, is that, pass or fail, it's all going to be okay.

Now think about that statement.  I have realized that I need affirmation that regardless of whether I succeed of fail, I'm going to be okay.  Things are going to be okay.  People are still going to be okay with me.

If that statement is true, why would I think that?  How would it impact the rest of my psyche?

And how is it relevant to my inability to accept compliments?

If I need affirmation that when I fail, it's going to be okay...maybe my brain thinks compliments are proof that things are only okay when I succeed.

Compliments are, by their nature, contingent on good things.  I love getting compliments, but I don't react well to it.  I've simply come to the conclusion that I fear one day failing, letting people down, and no longer being okay.  Which makes me shy away from them.  Because I fear failure.  I'm a perfectionist who fears the day I am no longer perfect.

Nothing stands out to me from my freshman year of college more than the day I went to visit my old high school, told them where I was enrolled, and one of my teachers said, "Oh, you went there? I thought you were going somewhere cool..."

Nothing.

I was an 18-year-old kid, an overachiever, who felt like she was told she was a failure.  I'm pretty sure she apologized and I laughed it off or something, but that's the only part of the interaction I remember.

So if that kind of negativity makes me uncomfortable, so too should the ultra positivity that are compliments.

Anyway, more ramblings from a stressed law grad.  All born out of the thought that I would love a card or flowers or something from my mom that said "Good luck and remember I love you no matter what."

Because I need that reassurance.  I need that affirmation.

I'm a perfectionist who can't accept and frets over the day everyone walks away.

Stupid maybe, but that's my reality.

So next time you compliment something and think they're being a bitch, please don't call them out for it unless you know they really are just being a bitch.

Cause some of us are really sensitive and stressed out.  And believe me, if we could change that, we would.

Just a penny for my thoughts.

All my love!

#nowhiteflags

I know a lot of people are getting sick of this "publicity stunt," but the numbers say it's been effective!  Awareness campaigns matter!

So in honor of my nomination by a member of my law fraternity, Delta Theta Phi, the ALS foundation, and Steve Gleason, I'm sharing my #ALSicebucketchallenge on my blog.

Go donate!  I did!

Too cool for skool

So it's August.  All over facebook, I keep seeing posts about people starting up classes again, back to school days.

But not for me!  This is the first year I'm not going back to school this fall.  And it's a totally weird feeling!

I have friends starting graduate programs, friends in the middle of programs, friends going to college, friends almost done.  And then there's me, with nothing to do.  I don't have a job yet, probably won't get one until I pass the bar.  So I have nothing to do.

What a foreign feeling!

I knew I was going to take a few weeks off after the bar exam to recover, and I've done that.  But I'm definitely starting to feel a little antsy.  I want something to do!  I've even pulled out some old video games to fill my time.

Don't get me wrong, I kind of love the freedom.  But sitting along in my apartment all day long gets kind of boring.

Thankfully, I'm heading on vacation in a few days!  I can't wait to get out and do things (plus the change in weather will be nice...as long as I don't get too cold, I can never imagine what anything below 80 degrees will feel like during Southern summers).

Got a whole bunch of new books for my kindle to read on the flight, too!  I will always love a proper book in my hands and will continue to purchase books (although maybe not until I get paid again), but Jo is right, a kindle is mighty convenient!

But to everyone else getting back into the school groove, good luck!  I wish you a productive year and hope things go your way.

To the rest of us,

It's time

So it's finally here.  It's finally time for the bar exam.  And I don't feel ready.

Granted, I don't think I've ever felt ready for something like this.  It's just so massive.  Three days of testing over at least 15 very large topics (probably more actually).  Short answer, essays, a writing project, and 200 multiple choice!

This is what I signed up for when I applied to law school I guess.

But as I sit here now, about thirteen hours until go time, it's odd.  I don't think I'm nervous...or anxious...or really concerned.  What's going to happen is simply what's going to happen.  Either I pass.  Or I don't.  And if I don't, I can simply try again.  I know lots of people who passed the first time and lots of people who didn't.  No single person is successful or unsuccessful due solely to their first bar exam results.

I won't be either.

(Mind you, I'd prefer to pass and never have to do this again, but I assume you knew that)

I got a hotel room for the next three days, didn't want to deal with rush hour traffic (can you imagine if I was late because there was a wreck on the road one morning?!?!?).  I went out to dinner with some friends.  I'm sitting in bed reviewing some civil and criminal procedure (one of two sections scheduled for tomorrow).

I thought I wanted to cry earlier, but, thankfully, that feeling passed.  I don't feel good.  But I don't know that I feel bad either.  It simply is what it is.

Hopefully, I can come back in a few months and say that I passed.  Certainly a lot of people expect that of me.  I don't know what I expect.  It really depends on what they ask.  Again, the topics are so broad, they could feasibly give me an entire exam on stuff I barely studied and it still all have been testable.  Or they could pick stuff I focused on, either by chance or luck or whatever you believe in.

But if I don't, that's okay.  People do come back.  After all, as a very wise man once told me, how a person bounces back from disaster is far more telling about a person's strength of character than a person who has never faced road-bumps.

So this is for you Professor Barnes, for better or for worse.  Without you, I would never have made it through law school.  I would certainly not have my J.D.  And no matter what happens over the next three days, that isn't going away.

Good luck to everyone taking the bar exam.  My thoughts are with you.  I'll be a little distracted come tomorrow morning though.

And thanks.  Thanks to everyone who has supported me in whatever way they knew how.  Even if it wasn't always helpful.  And thanks Professor Barnes (I think!).

RIP and I miss you.

Yin and Yang

I know without cost, none of it would be worth it.  If we don't put effort or work in, what have we accomplished?

I get it, I really do.  If three years of law school wasn't enough pain to get my J.D., I don't know what was.

But why, for the love of all that is holy, must I trim my fingernails to play guitar???

I love my guitar.  I suck.  But I love it.  I've always wanted to master it (never did).  But last year, I pulled it out again and started teaching myself.  Learned maybe a dozen songs, too!

But I love nail art.  Painting my nails pretty colors and whatnot.  Granted, I'm very limited on the colors I can wear in my chosen profession, but I can wear fun colors are the weekend.

What I hate (at least on me) are short and stubby nails.  It's like...a really weird pet peeve of mind.  I have never liked having short nails.  I think I feel like it elongates my hand, I dunno.  I've just always envied women with healthy, strong, not-short nails.

That's not to say I want these!

But a little tip is nice, in my opinion.

But goodness does it make playing the guitar difficult.  Whenever I get on a kick about improving my guitar skills (and let's face it, I'm in the middle of bar prep so just about anything else sounds awesome), I have this debate of how much I really want to learn.  Should I trim my nails all the way down?  Or just kind of flub it?

Anyway, I guess it's my yin and yang when it comes to playing the guitar, everything has a cost and balance.

This one is just particularly lame.

Now, if only I had a proper acoustic guitar...(my favorite)

#justdoit

Sorry, Nike, for stealing your hashtag (#lawyered wouldn't cut it for this post), cause I'm definitely an Under Armour girl.  I will say, however, that today, Nike was pretty awesome.

You're looking at a girl who just successfully went for a run.  Sure, it was pathetically short and I was breathing hard almost instantly, but I did it!  I won't admit how long I lasted, cause, again, it's rather embarrassing.  But, I did stretch out for fifteen minutes before I took off.  And for all you people in super shape, that's nothing.  But for people like me, terribly out of shape who haven't exercised in years, it is also a work out.

And the stretch thing is where Nike comes in.  Several months back (like two years ago probably), I went on this kick saying that I was going to get in shape.  I bought the clothes, the shoes, got some apps.  And I lasted about three weeks.  Then life got the better of me.

Now, I was never a girl who exercised.  I grew up blessed with a fast metabolism (actually too fast for a while, I was almost severely underweight when I was younger) and I participated in a lot of active sports (I played tennis several days a week and I swam a lot).  I definitely wasn't out of shape.  I mean, I played a four hour tennis match without significant break in the noon, August, gulf coast Mississippi heat!  But there are different kinds of in shape.

Then life happened.  Tennis got expensive.  And very suddenly, I quit playing (not by choice, just circumstances).  Then I got to college.  As everyone knows, college is exciting!  And busy!  And if you're not careful, you'll go four years without really significantly hitting the gym, even when you mean to.

However, while I was in college, I picked up ballroom dancing.  I got to a point where I was dancing almost five days a week for hours at a time!  I definitely wasn't in tennis shape, but I was as terrible as I could be.

Then that slowed down.

Then I decided to go to law school.  Let me just tell you, if you think finding time to exercise and have any kind of life beyond drinking alcohol in law school is possible, you have another thing coming....or you're superman.

I plummeted.  There was no more tennis.  Dancing was maybe once a month, if the one Saturday they had a dance in town, I was free.  I didn't go to the gym.  I started drinking a lot.

Before I knew it, an entire year had passed.

I wound up taking a tennis class my last semester of college.  It wasn't serious or strenuous, but it reminded me how much I missed the game.  So when I came home for the summer, I signed up for a tennis league.

One hour into my first match, and I think I had a heat stroke.  I didn't play again that summer.  But I did realize how out of shape I was.

Not that I ever did any better about exercising in law school.  Except for that three or so week term.

Anyway, long story short, and back to Nike, I went for a run today!  And I did a proper stretch, too.  While the run was outside and relatively close to my complex (in case I totally crapped out), the stretch was with the help of Olympic gymnast Shawn Johnson (and anyone who knows me, knows that I'm kind of obsessed about gymnastics.  Ask me about Bailey Key's FX right now, I'm in love!).  Nike has this app, which I totally recommend, full of exercises.  Some of them are the design of famous athletes, like Shawn Johnson (Gabby Douglas has one, too), and some aren't.  Some require equipment, some don't.  But if you want a workout walk-through because, like me, you just have no idea how to get started, this app is perfect.

It's called NTC or Nike Training Club.  I don't think I ever paid for it, but if I did, it wouldn't have been much, I'm way too cheap for that, and it has so many different work outs for all kinds of muscles! (And I definitely recommend starting with Shawn Johnson's stretch)

Because, if I can go for a run (no matter how pathetic and short), you can, too.  And we all have to start somewhere, sooner rather than later.

So, Nike, while I prefer Under Armour products, today, thanks to NTC, I'm saying...

P.S. I'm putting you guys (my readers...if I have any) in charge of this.  Now that you know I went for a run, I have to go again.  I have to start working it out.  Because now I've made it public.  My Barbri brain can't remember the word I'm thinking of, but now that you know, I have to keep going with my program.  I have an alarm on my phone set to go off three times a week so I go running.  Hopefully, in a few days or weeks, I can tell you that I did it!  If I didn't, shame on me.  Either way, you guys will know and can hold me accountable!

Sports

So I finally turned on the FIFA World Cup (it is America's first game after all).  I should be studying.  Or catching up on that BARBRI lecture I missed.  Or even cleaning my apartment.

But I'm not.

Instead, I turned on the World Cup.  And not because I'm altogether interested.  Thirty seconds in I was confused.  And when I get confused about sports I get frustrated.  But I also want to learn.  So, half an hour later, the game is still on.

I'll blame this distraction on my new friends in BARBRI.  I finally started to bond with some of my classmates.  And the guys next to me in particular love soccer and the World Cup, which makes you curious after a while.

I will say, I don't think I'll ever be a soccer fan.

In half an hour, one American has been taken off the field with a hamstring injury (and having finally experienced my own, ouch!) while another got wtfpwned by a leg to the face.

Good grief.

When I have kids, if I ever have kids, I really want them to do what they want.  I mean, there are some things I'd love to see them do (like gymnastics), and I'll definitely help them get started.  Actually, they'll be required to play at least one team sport and take some kind of artsy class of their choice.  Otherwise, they are free to do what they want.  I've promised myself to do what I can to hold myself back from holding them back.

There will be rules.  You can't quit anything after a bad day.  You go back again, and once you've had a better day and you still want to quit, I shall let you (with a few possible exceptions, like mid-season stuff).

The other big rule?

My kids will not be allowed to play soccer or do cheerleading (at least as long as cheerleading is not classified as a sport).

There may be other sports I eventually learn are too dangerous, but it's definitely those two for now.  And watching the World Cup has only solidified that.

Soccer has so many concussions.  And cheerleading has almost no rules and regulations.  I don't want my kids doing it.

Lots of sports are dangerous.  There are plenty who will argue I've picked very weird ones to develop grudges, and so be it.

But my kids will not play soccer if I can help it.  And cheerleading, as it currently stands, is out.



P.S. If I have my way, my kids will be gymnasts, or swimmers, or divers (which my mom hates), or equestrian.  Gymnastics is totally at the top of that list.

P.P.S. Go USA

Graduate

So graduation is over.

Like completely.

We had the ceremony, got the degrees (in the mail, several weeks later), and we even had the party (from which I just returned).

There is nothing left.

It's weird to think I may never be a "student" in the colloquial sense again.  I started attending school in  pre-k, not sure how old I was, probably around 4.  I'm 24 now.  That's twenty years of my life spent in school.

And it's over.

'Cause, I mean I say I want to go back for my Ph.D., and even if I do, it'll be as a part-time/night student while I maintain a full time job over the course of several years.

But that's okay.  As they say, when one door closes, another one opens.  Now I'm on to bigger and brighter things, assuming I can pass the bar exam (and prove my citizenship).

It was a very strange weekend.  A handful of us got together for Lindsay's graduation party.  We toured Vicksburg while we were there.  We drank a lot.  And we all survived.

My diploma is sitting in a roll on my printer, waiting for me to find the time to go get it framed.  That may take a while.

Meanwhile, bar prep.  We're about to start week three, I think.  I have oil and gas on Monday, totally not excited.  I really need to do the reading for this one.  But I also plan to pack a lunch and head to the library to actually study tomorrow.  We have a possible graded essay due at 11pm tomorrow, and I may try and get that done.  But I still haven't listened to the property lectures, so that may not happen tomorrow.  I don't really think there's a point in writing a practice essay where I make everything up, but maybe I'll try it regardless.

This wasn't supposed to be a gloomy post.  Graduating is a good thing (assuming you can eventually pay off your school loans).  It means I've progressed and done something worth finishing.  I'm educated.  I've completed the first step in pursuing my chosen field and career.

But it's scary.  I'm living on my own in a brand new city, I don't have any friends I know for longer that four months around.  I still get lost.  I don't know where to part to get into the lawbrary.  I have no income.   No promised job.  None of my immigration paperwork.  I'm behind on bar prep.  I just got a new, more expensive power contract.  My lease renewal offer came through last week (so I have to decide where I'm going to live).  And there are hundreds of other little concerns and worries.

People keep telling me to be positive and to have faith.  And I don't think it's that I don't have faith or some degree of positive attitude, but that I've seen how awful the world can be, and it's worse when you aren't prepared.

Hope for the best, plan for the worst after-all.

But hey, I have a beautiful apartment.  I finally made some buddies in bar prep that I can get an answer from if I miss one.  The weather is gorgeous if I ever decide to take a pool break.  I got to see some of my law school friends in Vicksburg over the weekend.  So not all bad.

Now if I could just get this immigration stuff filed so it could start processing...

They Say It's Not Polite to Brag....

But today, I absolutely don't care!!

A couple of days ago, I discovered this internet game called 2048.  It's a simple premise.  You have a 4x4 square and you start with two squares with the number "2."  The goal is to combine the squares and grow the numbers until you pair two squares to equal 2048.  It sounds harder than it is (to play at least, beating it is another story).

It is incredibly addictive.  And incredibly frustrating.

However.  After several days of playing (almost non-stop while I've been home), this little lady is very proud (probably more than necessary) to announce that she beat it!!

Want proof?  Well, all I got is a screenshot of the completed board...I didn't expect to be able to beat it this time (I mean, I hadn't really come close, though I was getting better this morning).  You can believe that it's mine and I did it without a bot, or you can think I'm lying.  Totally up to you.  All I know is, I BEAT IT!!!

That tile that has the number "2048"in it?  Yeah.  That means I won.

I'm awesome.

If you want to join the awesomeness, check it out at http://gabrielecirulli.github.io/2048/

*Hint* Swipe side to side and only up or down (pick a way to build) if at all possible (sometimes you will have to more where you don't want) and/or try to build your largest number out of a corner.  I mixed and matched both techniques until I finally got this!

P.S.  Two blog posts in one weekend, I must be in a good mood!  Don't expect this too often though xD

Spaghetti Sauce Day!!

I LOVE to cook.

I mean, I really love to cook.  A couple of years ago, I took over family Thanksgiving (that wasn't actually intentional), and it's a lot of fun....most of the time.  Better now that my mother's kitchen has venting outside (fewer fire alarms with the turkey).

Point it, I love to cook.  And I love to cook from scratch.  I don't always get to cook the way I'd like to (since I'm a student on a student's budget), but I have a couple of good recipes I always fall back on, along with new ones to experiment with.

Today, instead of studying for the MPRE next weekend, I decided to make a new batch of spaghetti sauce from scratch.  It's something easy to make in bulk and still tastes really good after being frozen.  I just ate the last of my sauce a couple of days ago.  Spaghetti really is my go to meal when I don't have the time, energy, or ingredients to cook something else.

And since I love love love my spaghetti sauce, I thought I'd share my recipe with you (keep in mind, I don't use any measurements, I do it all by taste and feel).

First of all, I can't cut onions.  Like, I have a serious sensitivity/allergy to onions.  Even my friends know about it.  Whenever we have dinner parties, I always wind up fleeing the kitchen when someone is chopping onions.  So I make great use of onion powder.  Not as good, I know, but you gotta work with what you got.  Therefore, instead starting with onions (or green peppers, which I hate), I start with mushrooms (my great love)!

I discovered drunk mushrooms last year when I was making alfredo and too late realized I had no cream for my sauce.  It was a white wine based sauce with cheese and cream.  I generally added mushrooms to the sauce as well (again, because I love them).  On this occasion, my guest didn't eat meat, so we were just doing mushroom alfredo.  Anyway, no cream meant no sauce and I had no idea what to make for dinner.  I decided to throw the mushrooms in my alfredo base (minus cream and cheese) and see what happened.  They.  Were.  Amazing!!  Take forever to sauté, but totally worth it.

So, I melt some butter (enough to coat the mushrooms) in a big pot, add some garlic, throw in the mushrooms (more is more in this case, in my opinion), let them sauté in the butter for a few minutes (basically until they start turning brown), then I pour in some wine.  I also add some salt, pepper, and onion powder.  The amount of wine varies based on how many mushrooms you want.  The idea is to pour enough white wine to come just short of covering the mushrooms.  Bring the wine up to a boil then turn it to a soft simmer.  I tend to leave the mushrooms for about half an hour, stirring occasionally.  The wine should reduce a bit and the mushrooms should shrink and continue to turn brown.

Now comes the pick and choose part (granted, most of this recipe is pick and choose).  I use a large can or crushed tomatoes, two or three small cans of tomato paste, one can of rotel, and two small cans of tomato sauce.  If you like chunkier sauce, you can swap out the crushed tomatoes for diced or ever added extra tomatoes.  I like smooth tomatoes, hence my choices.

Add all of the tomato stuff to the mushrooms.  Stir it all in.  Make sure the heat is on low, at this point, we just very lightly simmering for flavor.  Then thrown in a couple dashes of oregano, basil, thyme, red chili flakes, parsley, and a couple of bay leaves.  All the herbs can be dried or fresh, depending on what you have on hand or want to get.  I also tend to throw in about a cup of sugar at this point as well as some more onion powder (depending on how it tastes).  Then I put a lid on the pot and leave it alone for another half hour, at least.  You can't really burn the sauce at such a low heat, it can really simmer for quite a while.

In the meantime, if you like meat in your sauce (and I absolutely do), it's time to brown some ground beef.  Due to my budget, I tend to use about a pound of ground beef, sometimes more.  It's plenty of meat in the sauce for a meal, but more isn't necessarily bad either, if you like really meaty sauce.  Once the meat is browned, drain the oil and add it to the tomato sauce at the end of the half hour.

At this point, you also need to start adding salt to taste.  Sometimes easier before you add the meat.  The salt really brings out all the flavors you've been letting simmer in the sauce.  Keep adding sauce until you like the flavor.  Depending on what kind of flavors you like, you can also add more herbs or more onion powder.  Today, I had to add extra onion powder because I hadn't added enough in the beginning.

Once you get the meat in there, I like to let it simmer some more (again covered), at least half an hour but more is okay.  Today, I let mine simmer for at least an hour, and then left it on the heat since I was done super early.  I'm going to let it cool before I throw it in the freezer, and I'll reheat a bit closer to dinnertime....well, soon, since it's almost six o'clock.

That is my spaghetti sauce!  Based on my mom's recipe, but I've experimented over the years and added the mushrooms recently.  This is a sauce of meat and mushroom lovers, but you really can alter however you want.  If you like onions, peppers, etc, just throw them in when you cook the mushrooms, either in butter or wine (never can go wrong with white wine in sauces, even if it is a red sauce).

The more the make, the more you can customize it.  I love it!  Hope you enjoy it, too!

So that was my day, what did you do?

Ingredients you will need:
Ground Beef
Mushrooms
Garlic
Crushed Tomatoes
Rotel
Tomato Paste
Tomato Sauce
Basil
Oregano
Thyme
Onion Powder
Red Chili Flakes
Bay Leaves
Sugar
Salt
Pepper

Big City Living

So I recently moved to a new city...much much bigger than anywhere I've ever lived (at least when I was old enough to remember).

Let me tell you something about moving to a city where you don't know anyone or anything in particular about the city.

You get lost.

A lot.

And don't listen to the crazy people.

It does not get better.

All you can hope is to learn your way to work and to a grocery store and home...and not necessarily interchangeably between all three.  If you can get from home to work and back.  Or home to groceries and back.  You can get away without knowing how to get from work to groceries to home.  That may just be a bit too much.

GPS in phones or an actually car GPS are little miracle workers.  I still don't want anything to do with them because it makes it way to easy for hackers to get your information.  But I'd never leave my house without my new Garmin!

And I still went to three different malls before I found the one I had originally set out in search for!

So rule number one of moving to a big city:

Expect to get lost.

Just acknowledge it and expect it to happen and you'll be a lot less frustrated.

I will probably never be able to get around without GPS.

(How people survived in the old days, I'll never know!)